Zayn’s long been vocal about mental health awareness, cancelling an appearance at the Capital Summer Time Ball due to the “magnitude of the event” and “the worst anxiety of [his] career.” The artist’s story is now documented in an autobiography simply titled Zayn.

In a newly published excerpt, the ex-One Direction member revealed he struggled with an eating disorder:

“When I look back at images of myself from around November 2014, before the final tour, I can see how ill I was. Something I’ve never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder.

It wasn’t as though I had any concerns about my weight or anything like that, I’d just go for days – sometimes two or three days straight – without eating anything at all. It got quite serious, although at the time I didn’t recognize it for what it was. I think it was about control. I didn’t feel like I had control over anything else in my life, but food was something I could control, so I did.

I had lost so much weight I had become ill. The workload and the pace of life on the road put together with the pressures and strains of everything going on within the band had badly affected my eating habits.”

The revelations in the book also speak at length about a long battle with ADHD and plans here on out: “The plan is to start performing smaller venues and work my way up from there. This anxiety isn’t going to get the better of me.”

Zayn is now available on Amazon.