Sex & Dating

6 Times Charlotte Proves She's a Hopeless Romantic on 'Sex and the City'

Is Charlotte York hopeless or hopeful?

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6 Times Charlotte Proves She's a Hopeless Romantic on 'Sex and the City'

Is Charlotte York hopeless or hopeful?

Charlotte York is arguably one of the classiest women on the original Sex and the City. Naturally, a show about women navigating sex and love has to portray the perspectives women embody, and Charlotte definitely represents an outdated form: the hopeless romantic.

1. She wants to be saved.

Charlotte’s approach, although sometimes thirsty, is very strategic. “Charlotte treated marriage more like a sorority she was trying to pledge,” her best friend Carrie Bradshaw shares. In fact, she is willing to risk it all for it — even her career.

Let’s just say, if dating apps existed during Charlotte’s prime, she’d have accounts on every dating app for affluent women, with a corresponding calendar to schedule weekly dates — because she already learned the hard lesson about double booking in Season 2.

“Charlotte treated marriage more like a sorority she was trying to pledge.”

Unlike her raunchier peers like Samantha and Carrie, Charlotte is a firm believer in the “3.5 kids with a white picket fence” trope. However, she’s smart in that she doesn’t believe that Prince Charming is going to come knocking on her door. Instead, she plots and plans until she finds her dream man.

2. She wants a placeholder, not a partner.

So who is Charlotte’s dream man? She is looking for a successful, affluent man that would make a great husband and father — all reasonable requests if you think about it. Her problem is that she isn’t looking for a partner to do life with, she is seeking a man to complete the last missing piece missing of her manifestation board. She has the heart, the looks, the money, the career, just not the man. Even when she realizes that some options aren’t viable, she still forces the perfect picture.

3. She thinks getting hit by a cab is the good omen.

The two meet as Charlotte is running away from a date that should’ve never happened. As she runs, a taxi cab hits her and out from the backseat comes Trey. A wealthy and kind Park Avenue cardiologist. She is convinced this is her knight in shining armor.

Flash forward only two episodes later, she finds the cheat code. While at dinner with Trey and his mother, she notices that when his mother gently squeezes his wrist and makes a request, he obliges. Naturally, Charlotte being the strategist she is, she takes a mental note which she revisits the following evening at dinner.

Charlotte sensually rests her hand on Trey’s, and asks him the question she’s been dying to hear for months: “Maybe we should get married.” His response? “Alrighty.”

Oh the irony that she finally runs into — or should we say, is run into by — the alleged man of her dreams. Not only does she propose, but the response could’ve been articulated by a child. So much for her fantasy.

4. She neglects her sexuality for the idea of picture-perfect love.

In the same episode Charlotte proposes, her friend Samantha Jones learns that she’s “dating a guy with the funkiest tasting spunk.” To be specific, she compares it to asparagus that has gone bad with a *dash* of Clorox. As if Samantha’s sexcapade personally offended her, Charlotte grabs her purse and storms out. Although Samantha is known as the more sexually progressive friend, here, she’s simply talking about things you should be able to discuss with your girlfriends.

“Think about it, if you can’t complain about bad tasting spunk with your best friend, who can you turn to?”

Charlotte’s apprehension towards anything sex-positive makes for great comedic relief — many of us have probably wanted to storm out of a room at some point. But it really shows the lengths she’ll go to for the socially acceptable side of life. But think about it, if you can’t complain about bad tasting spunk with your best friend, who can you turn to?

5. She chooses the fairytale over authenticity.

Charlotte’s desire to be a classy Park Avenue wife causes her to live unauthentically for years. Even as her relationship with Trey progresses and she realizes it’s a “fake Fendi,” she still poses for that false perfect picture. There’s even a time right before she meets Trey, that she ditches her real friends for married friends so she can meet more eligible bachelors.

The quality of hopelessness isn’t something we can entirely blame Charlotte for. We never quite learned why she was so determined to find love, but like most women, it probably has to do with societal pressures and that ticking biological clock. Most women in America are conditioned to prioritize love and marriage over individual success, but one thing we can now all agree on is that women can have both if they’d like.

6. She craves acceptance in the form of being “wifey material.” 

One of our personal favorite Charlotte moments: the double-booked day. Charlotte rarely shows any shame in her quest for the perfect man, and in Season 2, she ambitiously books two dates in one night. An early dinner and a late dinner. Old Charlotte would’ve lived in fear of being called a whore, but this Charlotte is so focused on her dream that public opinion doesn’t matter. Until she kisses her second date goodnight and date number one catches them, suddenly, the shame gets to her and she goes back to her stereotypically “classy” ways.

A lesson on love from Charlotte

Ultimately, Charlotte’s quest for love is rather thirsty but it taught us the importance of being authentic and open-minded. After all, if you’re not authentic, you might manifest a Trey-like lover who’s great on paper, just not great for you.

During one of the iconic Sex and the City lunches, Charlotte pulls out a book from her bag titled Marriage Inc.: How to Apply Successful Business Strategies To Finding a Husband. Samantha hilariously saves the day with a sly remark, “Chapter One: How to get ahead by giving head.” The perfect balance, because truthfully, as much as we love Charlotte, her “pick-me” ways tend to get out of hand and steer us away from the real truth: Charlotte is a loving, kind and successful woman who shouldn’t have been looking to anyone to save her.

Thankfully, we’ve seen this shift in society today where women are embracing new forms of living, whether it’s living traditionally or choosing platonic love over marriage or ethical non-monogamy. What matters most is living authentically and prioritizing what feels authentic to you, not social scripts and societal pressure. It sounds clichéd, but if something’s truly meant for you, it won’t pass you by. Ironically, that’s exactly how Charlotte meets her Harry.

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