We Asked Readers to Share Their Old Diary Entries and They're Just as Embarrassing as We Expected
“School was not fun today but I saw a lot of dogs so everything was OK.”
Oh, sweet childhood. Is there nothing more cringe-worthy than going through old diaries and reading excerpts of entries written by struggling humans of the funniest kind (read: our teenage selves). Due to the fact that we love voluntary embarrassment of all sorts, we recently asked our readers to submit pages from their old diaries. From a young visionary who had a plan to destroy all the boys, to a girl who had early insight into the true priority of women everywhere (dogs, duh), these childhood diaries are nothing short of comedic gold.
Keep reading below to view some of the best entries we received. Thank you to everyone who submitted.
When Dogs > Everything
“Dear Diary, School was not fun today but I saw a lot of dogs so everything was ok. THE END.” – @aliengabu
When You Come up With the Only Plan That Matters
“Today I have a plan to destroy the boys.” – @crystalyeolo
Brains Over Brawn – Or Not
“Dear Diary, I will never write who I like because I do not like anyone in my class because every boy in my class is a geek.” – @gabriellemito
You Never Know About Brandon
“Dear Journal, Today was a good day. I think I like Creige too! And Camron talked to me today and I think he likes me and I know Creige likes me! But I’m not forgetting Mikie and Brandon. I don’t think I like Brandon a lot but you never know.” – @j_fuchsia
If Love Is in the Air, Don’t Breathe
“Love is in the air right now and guess who’s not breathing it? Hmm the person who just wrote that. I want guys, don’t get guys, don’t need guys, gotta have guys. Stupid. But it’s going to be Valentine’s Day soon and I know I’ll still be alone and it’ll suck. But I don’t want to go out with just anyone, I want to like the person I date, obviously. Wish I understood myself better in this area.” – @morgansomerset
Vallery…That Bitch
“Dear Diary, I don’t feel the way I use [sic] to feel about Jeffrey no more. He use [sic] to be the only guy I liked but not anymore. It’s Vallery Fernandez fuck. That stupid bicth [sic].” – @riverofjordann
