Are Second Chances Worth the Hype?
Following Jama-Stormzy split, dating experts weigh in on “spinning the block.”
From Maya Jama and Stormzy to JLo and Affleck, spinning the block is something we all do. In the world of dating, “spinning the block,” or returning to your ex is so common that there are several terms for it. For example, “backsliding,” “second chancing” and even, “thawing.” Whatever you name it, it’s a rough week for lovers who spun the block.
On July 17, Jama and Stormzy took to Instagram to confirm they’ve split after rekindling. Shocked, the girls can’t help but ask: are second chances really worth it?
In the case of Jama and Stormzy, they shared that they fell in love young and a pause was necessary for individual career growth. According to Match.com, this dating behavior is called thawing — and it can be healthy for couples. However, in their joint statement, the former celebrity couple shared that thawing didn’t work in their favor. For the hopeless — ahem, hopeful — romantics in the chat, don’t be alarmed. As the pair reported, “We’ve been laughing while drafting this because we never thought we’d be the couple announcing a breakup,” but “We tried, and it didn’t work and that’s okay.”
According to Match.com experts, thawing is about increased empathy and understanding that the timing may not have been right before. It’s important to hold space for “a new version of your relationship to occur,” as counselor Susan Zinn shared. Unfortunately, in the case of Jama and Stormzy, timing didn’t make much of a difference.
Dating expert Callisto Adams recommends reflecting on the first try at love, before fully investing in a new future with them. Reflect on why the relationship ended, and how you both have grown since. With this new growth, is a new, more fulfilling romantic experience likely? “By asking yourself how you’ve both changed, you may be able to predict how the relationship will change, too,” Adams closed.
So, in the case of Jama and Stormzy, this might be one instance of spinning the block that’s absolutely worth it.
While you’re here, The Oh Collective shares their best self-pleasure tips.
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