Ask a (S)expert: “My Boyfriend's Upset I Didn't Bring Him Home For The Holidays..."
Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“My boyfriend’s upset that I didn’t bring him home for the holidays. What do I do???”
Hey bae! Happy holidays! Sounds like your holiday season is already a clusterfuck so let’s dive right in…
Bringing bae home for the holidays is a major step for any couple. Whether you’ve been together for three months or three years, families are known to be opinionated, protective and intimidating. However, bringing your bae home for the holidays is an act of relationship progression and is deeply intimate. So by not bringing bae home, he may think you’re about to dump him.
With that being said, there are many potential reasons why you might not have brought your lover home… and given the fact that you didn’t share why you chose to opt-out, I’m assuming you’re questioning the future of the relationship. If this is the case, be honest with yourself and your partner about where you see the relationship going – or not going.
Or, maybe it’s simply too early into the relationship to begin merging families. If this is the case, discuss an acceptable timeline and begin preparing for it. This shows your partner you aren’t avoiding commitment and the intimacy that comes with meeting family.
If you’re not open to bringing bae home due to homophobic family members, that’s valid, too. Your partner deserves respect and to be considered so instead, consider creating new holiday traditions together.
If phobia isn’t the reason why and you’re in the relationship recovery headspace, keep reading for a few things you can do to salvage your relationship. And don’t forget to be honest with yourself as you take score because lying to yourself only results in you lying to your partner.
Best of luck, bae!
1. Vulnerably communicate why you didn’t introduce them to your family.
2. Reassure your partner by reminding them you do see a future with them.
3. Create new traditions.
4. Introduce them to your family traditions.
5. Plan time to bring them to the next family outing or plan a new one.
In other news, MAC releases “Sex Education with Kim Petras” for World AIDS Day.
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