Ask a (S)expert: "How To Avoid the Ick?"
Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“How do I stop getting the ick?”
Hey bae! If you’ve seen Netflix’s Nobody Wants This, then you know that the ick is… inevitable. We all have our cringe-worthy moments. Even Joanne (played by Kristen Bell) adored her partner, Noah (played by Adam Brody), but him uttering the word “Prego” in shorts and a blazer had her looking at her reflection in the pool.
From TV to TikTok, the ick has evolved with many people having their own definitions. But the gist is, the ick is an immediate feeling of disgust one feels towards another. It’s important to remember that icks are not red flags. An ick is them chewing with their mouth open at the “meet the parents” dinner, not being love-bombing or gaslighting.
Stefania Rosini/Netflix
When it comes to avoiding the ick, self-awareness is super important. Is the ick a defense mechanism? Is the relationship becoming a little too healthy for your liking? If so, I need you to watch Carrie’s behavior in Season 3 Episode 7 of Sex and the City. (Which is also cleverly titled: “Drama Queens“). See how she’s constantly trying to find something wrong with harmless Aidan? Avoid being a Carrie.
Speaking of, the ick could be clueing you into something deeper. For example, if you’re a stylist, a date in a blazer and shorts speaking down on fashion would absolutely give you the ick. In these cases, ask yourself: Is this ick a dealbreaker?
Sometimes the ick is just the tip of the “we’re not compatible” iceberg. Make sure you’re being honest with yourself about your wants and needs and if necessary, move on before you get too invested.
Best of luck, bae!
While you’re here, Victoria Monét responds to Stormzy dating rumors.
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