Sex & Dating

Love Bombing or Real Love? Experts Weigh In

A guide for avoiding toxic tactics.

By
3,838 Hypes

Love Bombing or Real Love? Experts Weigh In

A guide for avoiding toxic tactics.

Love bombing is a confusing concept for one simple fact — when you appreciate yourself, it makes sense that someone would instantly fall for you too. However, love bombing is actually a ploy mainly used by narcissists to gain the upper hand.

There’s healthy attention, and then there’s the feeling of being high off of it. That’s the difference between genuine connection and love bombing, but that can also add to the confusion. Dr. Chitra Raghavan says to the New York Times, “Everything that happens in healthy relationships can also happen in unhealthy relationships.” For example, showing excessive attention is actually an exaggeration meant to control you, but it’s perceived as “deeply seductive and romantic.”

Isolation from loved ones is another tactic. Naturally, when in love, you gravitate more towards your lover. However, when love bombing, your partner discourages seeing loved ones and tries to occupy all of your time. When the love bombing stage is over, you’re left with few loved ones to turn to for support, or even friendship. They’ve trained you to only rely on them. One rule of thumb for determining whether you’re being love bombed is to ask yourself, “Is this love reciprocal? Or do I feel like this person is trying to make themselves my whole world — family and friends excluded?”

Being love-bombed causes people to doubt genuine love and affection, simply because the last time they were vulnerable, they got burned. They also struggle with simple daily functions like what to wear and how to speak, because the love bomber used to control every aspect of their day-to-day.

Relationship expert Caitlin Cantor says it’s also important to learn the difference between attraction and compatibility. When you feel swept off of your feet, you have to remind yourself that it’s simply attraction. You’re still getting to know each other, so determining compatibility at this point is all too soon.

If you are experiencing love bombing, start by acknowledging the truth: It’s natural for someone to fall in love with you. However, this person has used love as a means of control, and that’s inexcusable. It’ll take time to heal and rebuild, but through that process, remember to give yourself the love you deserve.

Read Full Article
Share this article

What to Read Next

Do You Catch Feelings Too Quickly? An Expert Shares the Science Behind Love
Sex & Dating

Do You Catch Feelings Too Quickly? An Expert Shares the Science Behind Love

Siri, play “Love on the Brain” by Rihanna.
952 Hypes

Should You Use Tinder or Bumble? Experts Weigh In
Sex & Dating

Should You Use Tinder or Bumble? Experts Weigh In

Compare the features of both apps to find your best match.
10,046 Hypes

Sex Expert Shares 3 First Date Red Flags You Should Know
Sex & Dating

Sex Expert Shares 3 First Date Red Flags You Should Know

How to know when to make a run for it.
49,958 Hypes


Relationship Experts Predict Dating Trends for 2022
Sex & Dating

Relationship Experts Predict Dating Trends for 2022

Here’s how the pandemic might affect your dating life.
2,403 Hypes

Converse Releases Rave-Inspired One Star Sneakers
Footwear

Converse Releases Rave-Inspired One Star Sneakers

A trippy take on a classic.
3,294 Hypes

Adele Releases Music Video for "Oh My God"
Music

Adele Releases Music Video for "Oh My God"

The singer does not take it easy on fans’ emotions in the new visual.
304 Hypes

These Are the Passports That Hold the Most Power in 2022
Culture

These Are the Passports That Hold the Most Power in 2022

See the list of countries with most travel freedoms.
749 Hypes

Naomi Osaka Releases Her Third Collaboration With Nike
Fashion

Naomi Osaka Releases Her Third Collaboration With Nike

The tennis star plays creative director for the shoot.
5,680 Hypes

The Top 5 Korean Indie Artists To Watch in 2022
Music 

The Top 5 Korean Indie Artists To Watch in 2022

Up-and-coming names to look out for this year.
19,197 Hypes

Kristen Stewart Celebrates the 'Twilight' Renaissance
Film & TV

Kristen Stewart Celebrates the 'Twilight' Renaissance

The actor is feeling her age.
768 Hypes

Louis Vuitton Releases Transparent Time Out Sneaker
Footwear

Louis Vuitton Releases Transparent Time Out Sneaker

The pair even comes with monogram socks.
1,369 Hypes

Therapy Will Lead Singles to More Dates, Expert Says
Sex & Dating

Therapy Will Lead Singles to More Dates, Expert Says

Have you done “the work?”
948 Hypes

Nécessaire Launches a New Deodorant Gel
Beauty

Nécessaire Launches a New Deodorant Gel

The beauty brand creates skincare for the underarm.
396 Hypes

Kali Uchis' Way of Teasing New Music Is a Whole Mood
Music

Kali Uchis' Way of Teasing New Music Is a Whole Mood

She shares updates on her third album and tour with Tyler, The Creator.
418 Hypes

More ▾
 
Subscribe to our Newsletter

Keep updated on the latest news.

By subscribing, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Looks like you’re using an ad-blocker

We charge advertisers instead of our readers. If you enjoy our content, please whitelist our site to show your support. We’d really appreciate it.

Whitelist Us

How to Whitelist Us

screenshot
  1. Click the AdBlock icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.
  2. Under “Pause on this site” click “Always”.
  3. Refresh the page or click the button below to continue.
screenshot
  1. Click the AdBlock Plus icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.
  2. Block ads on – This website” switch off the toggle to turn it from blue to gray.
  3. Refresh the page or click the button below to continue.
screenshot
  1. Click the AdBlocker Ultimate icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.
  2. Switch off the toggle to turn it from “Enabled on this site” to “Disabled on this site”.
  3. Refresh the page or click the button below to continue.
screenshot
  1. Click the Ghostery icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.
  2. Click on the “Ad-Blocking” button at the bottom. It will turn gray and the text above will go from “ON” to “OFF”.
  3. Refresh the page or click the button below to continue.
screenshot
  1. Click the UBlock Origin icon in the browser extension area in the upper right-hand corner.
  2. Click on the large blue power icon at the top.
  3. When it turns gray, click the refresh icon that has appeared next to it or click the button below to continue.
screenshot
  1. Click the icon of the ad-blocker extension installed on your browser.You’ll usually find this icon in the upper right-hand corner of your screen. You may have more than one ad-blocker installed.
  2. Follow the instructions for disabling the ad blocker on the site you’re viewing.You may have to select a menu option or click a button.
  3. Refresh the page or click the button below to continue.