Samirah Raheem on Owning Her Body and Her Sexuality
“Everybody’s a slut.”
“My body is not a political playground, it’s not a place for legislation. It’s mine and it’s my future.”
Gaining 27 million views in one day, New York-based model Samirah Raheem grabbed the internet’s attention with her bold declaration at Los Angeles‘ 2018 #SlutWalk. Founded by activists and later championed by Amber Rose as a movement against rape culture and victim blaming, the annual protest is a collective cry, denouncing the hyper-sexualization and objectification of women’s bodies.
Initially there to support a friend who was struggling with her body image, Raheem became an unsuspecting hero, transforming the walk into her personal platform as she literally grabbed the mic from conservative pastor Jesse Lee Peterson, pushing back against his reductive and misogynist message that sluts, or women who enjoy sex, are immoral. Raheem is quick to put Peterson in his place, telling him that by his definition, “everyone’s a slut,” including his mother.
Raheem’s words resonated with so many across the world, fed up with the rampant slut shaming and double standards that are still prevalent today — 5 years later. Keeping your head down and staying quiet as a woman, often feels like the only way to survive, which is why Samirah’s courage is so inspiring. Her video is a reminder to fight back against society’s desire to make you feel small and take up space.
Continue scrolling to hear more from Samirah on reclaiming her sexuality, unlearning shame and how to stand your ground.
Could you describe how you were feeling when you confronted Jesse Lee Peterson during the Slut Walk?.
In that moment, I felt like I was caught off guard because I saw this man messing with women at the walk, but I didn’t know who he was. Because he didn’t fit the demographic of the event, he stood out amongst the crowd and it became clear that he was heckling women who he thought were drunk. At the time, I was waiting for my friend and kept saying to myself, “He better not come over here,” but of course he did and that’s when I decided to have a little fun and turn the word “slut” back on him. I said his camera members were sluts, his mom, everyone around him. Anyone who has sex and enjoys what is a natural thing, by that definition, is a slut.
Why is it important for women to reclaim their sexuality, especially for women of color?
It’s integral to our survival because the world is conspiring to make women, in particular Black, brown, indigenous and trans women, smaller. Sex is often demonized and a lot of what’s happening in politics is a war against women and ultimately, a war on sex. I think that as soon as you make something that is natural, disgusting, it puts this unconscious shame on the body that’s carrying it. It’s imperative to unlearn and undo any kind of oppressive systems that haunt us all. Sex is just one degree of that, but it’s a really powerful aspect of our lives. Everyone’s having sex and no one wants to talk about it.
What has your personal experience been like unlearning these systems of shame and coming into your own as a woman?
When the video went viral, I didn’t recognize how many people resonating with it, I just heard a clip of myself stating that I was sexually inactive. I had so many qualms about that confession. I believe virginity is a social construct, so I was upset with myself for giving it that much power. I also wanted to be perceived a certain way, so I was cringing at revealing that much of my personal business. When the video hit 27 million views in a day, that was the last thing on anyone’s mind. There were of course, a couple of troll boys, saying that I was lying, but the fact that I got so caught up on that made me realize that I was so ashamed of my own sexuality that I couldn’t see how the video was impacting and inspiring other people. Being a model and Black women in New York City, I have been conditioned to put my head down, survive, do what I have to do and not say too much. Because of the video, I had to get very comfortable very quickly with putting myself out there.
How do you balance owning your sexuality for yourself and reclaiming the word “slut?”
I remember telling my friend I felt sexy before I felt beautiful. I knew that my body led to me being perceived as older than I was. I knew I was seen as sexy and curvy and salacious and all of these things before I really understood the true beauty within myself and how to celebrate that. A lot of Black women are hyper-sexualized when they’re young, so it took some time to separate that from my own definition of beauty and sexuality. You feel the male gaze on you before you even feel the true essence of your beauty. I began to realize that a part of being sexy isn’t about what you’re doing or not doing in the bedroom, rather it’s this uninhibited, embodied energy.
How has your perception of your body changed, especially like not fitting into the fashion industry’s mold?
I used to be very dissociated from my body. It was just work for me, but in healing my relationship with my body, I’ve been able to stay connected to myself because I understand that it’s unhealthy to treat your body like a commodity. There’s a lot of trauma in the modeling space with just being measured in a room full of people, that it’s hard not to disassociate. Because I’ve been on curve boards, as well as on the straight side, I’ve had moments where people have told me to gain weight or I should lose more weight. At the end of the day, I’m staying authentic to what is healthy and feels right for me at the time and not just seeing it as a price tag.
Do you have any advice for people who may be afraid to speak up in moments like yours at the Slut Walk as well as the importance of having accessible and casual conversations about socio-political issues?
I think that the best thing you can do is to slow down and to listen to people because if you listen closely, you will hear your counter argument open up. If you can use your passion to fuel your clarity, you’ll find the diving timing of the conversation. It’s hard for passion not to turn to anger especially during heated discussions. I think there’s a lot of respectability politics at play for how certain people can express themselves in certain rooms, which is why it’s all the more important to break these topics down and make it more accessible to everyone. As soon as we start associating a certain cadence of speech with education, it just blocks people out and I think we’re just trying to all wake up, come together and learn more.
