Ask a (S)expert: “Why Do Men Always Keep Tabs on Their Exes?”
Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“Hi Gigi! I’ve been single for a few months and was finally moving on… now my ex is keeping tabs on me on IG. Why do men always keep tabs on their exes?”
Hey bae! As a queer girlie, let me just say: men aren’t the only ones who do this. We’ve all experienced this. You know, those exes that are always the first to watch your story – but never reach out. When your ex circles back, it’s easy to think you’re irresistible and that you were never the problem. I mean after all… they came back.. right?
No. In all honesty, your ex is simply lurking and it should mean nothing to you – yet. They’re probably just bored, or lonely, hoping you lack boundaries and are willing to play their game once again. “Lurking” is the bare minimum and lacks intention. Now, if they make an intentional effort to reconnect with you through conversation or maybe sending flowers, that’s a different story.
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Of course, there’s an exception to every rule. Two perfect examples are Maya Jama and Stormzy and of course, J Lo and Ben Affleck. These two couples are proof that spinning the block can have its benefits.
So, if you’re wondering whether your ex is worth the investment, keep reading for five green flags that hint you might be correct.
Signs a second chance is worth exploring:
1. You’re able to forgive both yourself and them for past mistakes.
2. There’s healthy communication about past issues and commitment to correct them.
3. You have empathy for how you both treated each other in the past.
4. The timing was once off, but now aligns
5. They never did anything unforgivable.
Love you bae and best of luck!
In other news, explore the hottest Valentine’s Day lingerie shops.
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