Ask a (S)expert: "How Do I Increase My Sex Appeal?"
Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“How do I up my sex appeal 😂🤔”
Hey bae! I love this question because traditionally, sex appeal is about the male gaze — but not here. Some say “You either have it or you don’t.” I disagree. In my expert opinion, sex appeal is all about elevating your natural allure. It’s enticing, intoxicating and even when you’re a self-proclaimed “yapper,” it’s a bit mysterious.
Ask Yourself, “What Makes Me Feel Sexy?”
“Confidence is key” is a quote for a reason. It’s all about knowing yourself. As a former sex worker, I would often don certain looks that catered to the male gaze. Men ate it up, but I felt like a Barbie doll pretending to be something I wasn’t. Essentially, I was a walking fantasy — but for someone else.
So of course, my transition out of sex work became about redefining myself. Keeping the elements that I knew made me feel sexy, while continuously meeting my new self. Those two things that made me feel sexy? The femininity of Barbie doll pink and lingerie.
Turns out I did love feeling like a cute Barbie doll so the color pink has become a signature. One that makes me feel soft and feminine, and compliments my skin tone perfectly. On the lingerie front, I wear it whether I’m working from home or with a lover because I value my sexy nature. As for fragrance, I find a warm, sweet gourmand scent will make anyone — whether they subscribe to gender or not — break their neck.
What makes you feel like this? If you’re unsure, it might be time to experiment.
Savage X Fenty
Eye Contact >
Lingering eye contact is a major key. If you’re new to this and don’t want to exude creepy vibes, try the triangle method when talking to someone. Slowly gaze into (one) eye while they’re talking, then the next and down to their mouth. This exudes seduction and cleverly makes your intentions clear.
Get Experimental
This can be anything from fashion to beauty. A great tool — forgive me for sounding too Millennial — is Pinterest. Dabble in new aesthetics like “Dark Feminine Core” or “Baddie” aesthetics. It might not resonate with you, but maybe you’ll fall in love. The point is to extract the elements that resonate with you to create your edge.
For example, you can experiment with little black dresses that enhance your silhouette for an elevated “Baddie” look. Or maybe you want to play with dark feminine makeup. If that’s the case, try a smokey eye for your next date night and see how it makes you feel. Maybe black smokey eyes are too intense for you and you want to make it more elegant with softer colors — that’s your true appeal peeking through. Listen to and lean into her. Nothing is sexier than a confident woman who knows herself on every level.
Self-Pleasure
Speaking of knowing yourself on every level, it’s important to know your body. Masturbation is great for several reasons from mental health to cardiovascular health. But most importantly, knowing how to please yourself increases confidence both in and out of the bedroom. After all, what’s more attractive than a woman who doesn’t need anyone to please her? With this mindset, any suitor you entertain will know that you don’t need them, you’re choosing to invite them into your world which is really what entices a secure beau.
Remember, Lean Into Your Natural Appeal
Similar to makeup accentuating your features and my obsession with the color pink, you have to know what makes you sexy to begin with. Do you have great eye contact? A seductive smile? Will an updo accentuate your cheekbones? Does your clothing accentuate your silhouette or make you feel like you’re just following trends? Get real with what sets you apart from the status quo and lean into it.
Best of luck, bae!
In other news, here are the cutest Coachella “couples” moments.
Share this article
