Sex & Dating

Ask a (S)expert: "Is It Sexual Tension or Am I Overthinking It?"

Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.

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Ask a (S)expert: "Is It Sexual Tension or Am I Overthinking It?"

Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.

Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expertThis new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.

Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡


“Is it sexual tension or am I overthinking it? Like, how can you tell if there is sexual tension?”

Hey bae! If you have to ask this question.. you’re probably feeling already feeling it. But, of course, we can always dive into a list of the potential signs cause, well, if it gets you f-cked, why not? There’s also the possibility that brought you here: you don’t want to misread signs and make a fool out of yourself.

The key to sexual tension is chemistry. You know, that feeling that you’re both drawn to each other. Almost as if it’s a “magnetic pull,” as expert Rachel Hoffman, LCSW shared. There will be lots of lingering eye contact that makes you feel butterflies, or let’s be real, wet. You may also experience constant smiling, giggling and blushing. The key difference here between a budding friendship and sexual tension is that someone who wants to be your friend probably isn’t blushing at you. If you’re a queer girlie, our go-to signal is the shoulder or knee touch.

The most obvious sign is our favorite move when flirting, and if you’re not familiar with it, get ready to meet your new go-to: the triangle method. The triangle method is when you softly gaze into the eyes of someone you are interested in. But not just staring into their eyes like a creep, no. First, gaze into one eye, then into the next, then down at their lips — to imply you’d like to kiss them — then look back up at their eyes again.

If you’re potential beau hasn’t made this move yet, try it yourself and see how they respond. It just might lead you right into their arms.

Best of luck, bae!

In other news, take a look at Di Petsa’s “Masturbation Pocket.”

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