Ask a (S)expert: “We've Been Going Out for 10 Years — But He Treats Me Like Sh-t..."
Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“I’ve been going out with a guy for 10 years off and on. But he treats me like sh-t and makes me leave, walk home at various times. Should I still see him or is it a waste of time?”
Hey bae! He sounds like a waste of time and honestly, rude as f-ck. Often people conflate sexual partner with “I don’t need to respect them” and that’s a major red flag.
Listen to your intuition and dump him.
In the case that you do dump him — fingers crossed — you’ll soon be on the hunt for a new partner(s) considering your current one is a d-ck. If so, one non-negotiable you should adopt is aftercare. Aftercare is a sex-positive term that originates within the world of BDSM. It refers to how you and your partner care for each other after sex. From cuddling and kissing to pouring them a cup of water after a wild f-ck, aftercare is important.
Here are a few aftercare green flags :)
1. Recapping the sex and affirming one another.
2. Showering together.
3. Massaging each other.
4. Pillow talk and cuddling.
5. Binging your favorite shows or watching a movie together.
6. Sharing a glass of water to rehydrate post-sex.
7. Listening to music.
8. Communicating about what went well and not-so-well.
For more sex and dating advice, visit Ask a (S)expert.
