Ask a (S)expert: "I’m *Very* Bi-Curious... Does This Mean I'm Bi?"
Welcome to our series hosted by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“I’m really, really bi-curious… Does this mean im bi?”
Hey bae! Bi-curiosity refers to someone who usually “has sexual relations with one gender, but is curious about having sex with a different gender.” Unofficially, many believe that bisexual women are proud to date both genders while bi-curious women are unsure. Unpacking your sexuality is a multi-layered process so let’s dive right in.
Research shows that sexuality is a spectrum so questioning how you identify probably won’t happen just once in this lifetime. For example, one can identify as straight as a young adult and then at 50, identify as a lesbian.
But there’s one more element I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up: compulsive heterosexuality. Popularized after Chappel Roan’s “Good Luck, Babe” went viral, comphet refers to the automatic performing of heteronormative scripts — aka straight by default, not because you truly are.
As a result, unpacking sexuality can be daunting and confusing versus fun to explore. So, when you’re unpacking your sexuality there are a few things you can do to make the experience more positive.
First, ask yourself: What do I desire? Does gender matter? Next, allow yourself to date freely. Date men, women, fluid people and people who defy the gender binary. Pay attention to how you feel when dating. Are there experiences you’d like to have again? Your truth lies in these answers!
If you’ve already passed the exploration phase and are gravitating towards bisexuality, that’s your answer :) If you’re feeling anxiety about your truth, that doesn’t mean you’re not bisexual. Remember, internalized homophobia exists, comphet is real and sexuality is a spectrum. Your truth today, may not be your truth tomorrow and that’s okay!
Give yourself the freedom to be authentic and honor every stage of you.
Best of luck, bae!
In other news, Sporty & Rich may enter its sexual wellness era.
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