5 Prompts for Nosy Relatives Who Ask "Why Are You Still Single" on Holiday
Basically, how to politely check your family.
Referred to as single shaming, being quizzed about your relationship status is not only intrusive but implies that you are unloveable. According to Bumble, “more than one in three Gen Z and millennials say that friends and family have made them feel bad for not bringing a significant other to events.” As a result, 30% of Gen Z and millennials say that they feel more self-conscious about being single during the festive season.”
Here are Dr. West’s expert tips for politely checking your family.
Are you still single?
“Yes, I’m enjoying dating and weighing my options.”
You would think your solo arrival would give this away, but admittedly, our generation dates differently, which can be tricky for older generations to understand. Dr. West suggests, reminding your family that “More people are practicing being consciously single and waiting for the right person… Simply letting your family or friends know that you are intentionally dating, taking your time to find someone that aligns with your values rather than rushing into a relationship, can address this question perfectly.”
What is wrong with you?
“Nothing. Thankfully I have a lot to offer, so I can take my time while dating and be more intentional.”
Nothing is wrong with you at all. However, for some people, being single means undesirable, instead of it just being a relationship status. Use this moment to remind them that being single does not mean you’re undesirable, you’re just giving yourself the freedom to weigh your options as you can do that when you’re amazing. Or in Future’s words from the single “Jersey,” “You do what you want when you poppin’”
Do you not want children?
“Having children is something that happens in your own time and quite simply isn’t something that everyone wants. This is a very personal matter so you are well within your rights to change the subject and shut down the conversation. On Bumble, you can specify whether you’re interested in having kids or not on your profile which can be a good way to make your intentions on the subject clear to potential matches.”
You need to be less picky…
“And settle? No thanks.”
As West said, “Friends and family often think they know best when it comes to relationships, sometimes suggesting that you need to lower your standards.” Lowering your standards is never a good move. If your family is bold enough to encourage that behavior, remind them they should be reminding you to never settle.
Are you on any dating apps?
“Yes, however, more options does not always mean they’re great.”
“Nope, I prefer meeting people in real life. It’s actually been nice taking dating slowly.”
“If you are asked about being on dating apps, don’t be shy — own it,” West shared. “Using dating apps means that you are taking your relationship into your own hands and exploring who is out there.” If they default to “well how are you single with so many options,” just remind them that having options doesn’t always mean they’re all up to par.