Why Are Men So Obsessed With Being "Polybombed?"
Time to unpack.
Polybombing is the latest dating discussion and according to a Reddit thread for monogamists, there’s a lot to fear. Polybombing is essentially the feeling evoked when your partner shares their desire for a polyamorous or open relationship. Hundreds of people on Reddit are unpacking this selfish act, as they like to call it. But what is this fear rooted in?
The Reddit group began as a safe space to discuss monogamy and how the lifestyle has benefited each person’s evolution. However, the safe space for monogamous individuals became a stomping ground for anti-polyamorous narratives. One person shared: “Polyamorists are master manipulators that are like vulnerability-seeking missiles. They prey on and victimize people who live with disabilities like Autism, self-confidence issues, childhood trauma, etc. so that they can cultivate a harem of individuals they can vampirically extract sex and positive attention from.” Another complained about dating apps like OkCupid being infiltrated with “poly people,” while another shared worries about their wife being influenced and manipulated by the “these people.”
Samantha Gades
A new member to the group questioned why the safe space became a hate group for poly folks and one person replied: “I think it’s fine to have a space to vent about disliking polyamory, since so many people here have been polybombed and manipulated and so many poly people like to manipulate. It’s a big problem that should be discussed.”
But are polyamorous people manipulating others into joining the way of life? Or are they simply living authentically which inspires others? It seems like people are disregarding the fact that as humans evolve, relationship styles can evolve too. At any point in your life, you can change your mind about anything. That’s the beauty of evolution.
The thread seems to villainize polyamorous individuals while revealing an underlying fear of change within relationships. The act of blaming one’s relationship evolution on polyamorous individuals and calling it manipulative is manipulative within itself. It’s also important to not overlook the fact that the term “polybomb” came after the term love bombing, which refers to one showering you with love in an attempt to manipulate you.
As Miles Klee shared in an article for Mel Magazine, “To call even a discussion of polyamory ‘polybombing’ therefore implies sinister manipulation, if not psychic violence, from a non-monogamous type who is abusive by nature.”
So the question stands: is the act of being polybombed a real tactic? Or are people simply evolving in a way that some traditionalists can’t handle?
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