Sex & Dating

How to Not Embarrass Yourself When Trying Kink Play

Calling all the femmes with performance anxiety.

By
3,022 Hypes

Kink and BDSM make sexual pleasure all the more fun — if you understand the rules. It takes a certain level of maturity to practice, while also holding a safe space for yourself and your partner(s) during sex.

So, if you’d like to avoid embarrassing yourself, keep reading.

1. Following toxic pop culture. As much as it made for great discussions, Fifty Shades is not an accurate representation of a consensual kink relationship. Opt for more boundary setting, communication and comprehension and most importantly, respect.

2. Unclear Boundaries. Not being sure on what you’re okay with versus not, can leave you feeling violated and sexually unsatisfied. Neutral environments, like a coffee shop or beach date, are best for having that initial boundary-setting conversation. Make sure you do this before trying something sexually new.

3. Relying on safe words too much. Safe words are important, but if you find yourself blurting them out more often than not, you’re probably not mentally or sexually ready for this new adventure. It may be best to do more research and communicate, then revisit — or not.

4. Be prepared to laugh. Just as with life, nothing ever rarely goes as planned — but you have your tools. For example, the gym for stress relief when something goes left. Kink play is the same. You might get caught off guard at some points and let out a nervous laugh. That’s okay. As long as you feel safe and respected.

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