F-cking Your Ex Doesn't Have To Be a Red Flag, Expert Says
Based on Lovehoney’s global study.
In 2022, Google’s trend report revealed “Is being friends with an ex a red flag” was of its top searches and apparently, Gen Z is struggling with the matter. According to global sex toy retailer Lovehoney, friendships with exes are very common — but it might not be a red flag, after all.
In its study, Lovehoney found that “69% of adults actively choose to remain friends with their ex post-breakup.” On a similar tip, after breakups, Gen Z opts for pivoting the relationship from romantic to friends with benefits to avoid having to share new kinks with a new partner.
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Rachel Wright, an expert in modern relationships shared “There are tons of benefits to being friends with an ex-partner, it’s called de-escalating the relationship.” In monogamous relationships, it’s common to sever the relationship entirely or be questioned by your friends for not doing so — cue the bestie that wants the best for you. However, “It does not have to be this way,” Wright exclaimed. “Even more specifically polyamory, it’s very common for relationships to escalate and de-escalate, but in monogamous relationships, often, when the romantic or sexual piece ‘ends,’ so does the entire relationship.”
Luckily for you, it doesn’t have to be that way. As Gen Z moves into non-monogamy and more unconventional dating, friendships with exes and even continued sex will most likely become more prominent.
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Thinking about redefining the relationship instead of ditching it? Here are Wright’s best tips for deciding whether it’s healthy for you:
1. “If you are feeling the desire not to have this person in your life anymore, or you’re feeling more hurt/pain/grief about having this person in your life versus not, it may be time to re-think any sort of relationship with them.”
2. “Try to think about all relationships as relationships – friendships are relationships, partners are relationships, our family members we have relationships with – a relationship isn’t synonymous with romance and sex. So, you get to decide what type of relationship you have with this person and IF you want them in your life, to begin with. ”
3. “If you’ve tried and aren’t sure, take the 60 days I recommend post-break-up again and re-assess. And, if you are sure, let the person know. Don’t keep them around just to ghost them or ignore them.”
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