Ask a (S)expert: "How Can I Be More Adventurous in Bed?"
Welcome to our new series led by Gigi Fong, Hypebae’s in-house sex and dating editor.
Welcome to your new safe space and Hypebae’s first-ever sex and dating column, Ask a (S)expert. This new weekly series is led by Haitian-Chinese and LA-based sexpert Gigi Fong, our in-house sex and dating editor.
Gigi is a former sex worker, boudoir artist and podcaster now hosting safe spaces for the Hypebae community. She specializes in all things sex-positive from unconventional dating to pleasure for lovers of all identities. To have your questions answered, visit our dropbox below and anonymously send your intimate inquiries ♡
“Where do I get inspiration to be more adventurous or exploring in sex? Is porn the only source?”
Hey bae! As a former porn performer, I agree that porn is a great source of inspo. Considering it’s adult entertainment, though, it’s probably not the best source of true, authentic sex – so you have the right idea reaching out.
But, truthfully, I love this question for more than one reason. I mean, we’ve all heard the notion that “freakier” women are more adventurous and the stigmas that come along with it. But there’s one problem you’re probably already aware of. Adventurous is subjective.
— juli (@ghostratt) March 20, 2024
For a kinky woman like myself, adventure can mean wearing kink jewelry out on date night. For a proud vanilla bae, however, adventure can mean keeping the lights on. The point is, adventurous for you may not always align with your sex partners but its still worth exploring. And that’s why I’m excited for you to dive in.
Keep reading for a (s)expert-approved list of ideas, just for you <3
The greatest hack: blindfolds
By far my greatest hack for anything that I’m nervous, but a little nervous to dive into is blindfolds. Being blindfolded during sex, whether with a scarf or an actual leather mask, blocks out vision, therefore intensifying your orgasm. You’re probably wondering: “What the f-ck does this have to do with me being adventurous?”
Given that you’ll be trying new things, wearing a blindfold can faux-block out extra stimuli and allow you to just feel pleasure. Only downside is you can’t technically see how your partner is responding to your pleasure so make sure to have a communication sesh afterwards to touch base.
Play with wearable vibrators
One of the greatest things about science? Remote-controlled-slash-bluetooth-operated sex toys. With these playmates, you can literally wear your sex toys in your undergarments and experience pleasure-on-the-go. If this is too adventurous for you, start in the bedroom and work your way around the house and eventually, to a sex club.
For long distance couples, check out our guide to bluetooth-operated sex toys for long distance couples.
4. Play with clit stimmes on your clit… then other places:
Ah, the joy of clit stimulators is that they don’t have to be used on the clit, despite their name. Think of clit stimulators or suction toys as a full-body tool. You can use them on any erogenous zone, or pleasure center. For example, placing the tip of your clit stimulator on the tip of your partner’s d-ck, on your nipples during oral sex or even on the nape of your neck.
Massage eachother
This is a great tip for any lover seeking more adventure — at a slow pace. Practicing massaging your partner build intimacy, making exploration easier.
Role play
As shared in our role play guide, ““Role-play is all about becoming a new character — while keeping your ideal pleasure in mind.” So, think of the fantasies you’d like to experience, visit a sex store or Amazon for a cute costume to match and dive right in.
Make a sex tape
Recording yourself is an age-old trend for a reason: it’s hot as f-ck. Think about the sex positions you’d like to see yourself in. Or maybe there are positions you like to please your lover in. Prop up your camera so you can enjoy the visual later.
If diving into making a sex tape is too adventurous, try to recording yourself solo first.
Share fantasies
Sharing fantasies is a great way to learn exactly what your partner(s) would like to experience, meaning you have the cheat code to their pleasure.
Masturbate with your partner(s)
Speaking of being adventurous, nothing gets a partner off more than watching their lover pleasure themselves.
Watch porn with partner(s)
Although you shared above that porn is already a go-to source, I’d explore porn with partner(s), too. Not only is it an arousing visual, but your partner(s) can point out what they’d like to explore adding to the “pleasure cheat code.”
Best of luck, bae!
For more on sex and dating, Gen Z is going “boysober” for Mercury Retrograde.
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