Sex & Dating

Here's Everything You Should Know About Pansexual Dating

For those questioning or seeking to be more-informed allies.

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Here's Everything You Should Know About Pansexual Dating

For those questioning or seeking to be more-informed allies.

In the past few years, there have been a number of people openly embracing their pansexual identities such as Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus. As Demi Lovato said, “I’m part of the alphabet mafia and proud,” and if you’re pansexual — you should be too. Whether you’re curious about your identity or seeking to be a better ally, here’s everything you need to know about dating as a pansexual.

Jay Tha’ Loveologist, a pansexual sex counselor shared with them: “Pan means being open to all loving, whether you’re looking at gender or not looking at gender. It means understanding that romantic, emotional, and potentially sexual attraction is geared towards that energy you’re receiving from individuals.”

Because pansexuality is considered a more free-spirited form of love, it can confuse those who are monogamous or heterosexual. Like people who are bisexual, being in a relationship with someone of one identity, for example, a lesbian woman, does not make your attraction to other identities invalid. This also means that you do not have to be polyamorous to be pansexual.

Some also confuse pansexuality with bisexuality. Being bisexual means that you are attracted to more than one gender. Pansexuality is an attraction to all types of people, which includes people who do not identify with the gender binary.

Most people who are pansexual have formerly identified with other forms of attraction. Janelle Monáe shared her experience with Rolling Stone: “Being a queer black woman in America, someone who has been in relationships with both men and women – I consider myself to be a free-a-s motherf-cker.” Monae initially thought she was bisexual, but learned that pansexuality was more in line with her experience. Sexuality is fluid and can change throughout your lifetime.

There are also situations where you think you know how you identify but may change your mind when presented with more information. Like Janelle Monae shared: “I’m open to learning more about who I am,” and you deserve to show yourself that grace, as well.

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